Fórmula 1 2008

[JRodrigues]

Bahhh Agora é que ninguém vai calar o papagaio...

ArrayChris's Column

It is a loudmouth journalist’s prerogative to have an opinion –however misguided or ill-informed- on any subject. We can sound off about anything from blackberries to solid wood burners, with varying degrees of misinformation and bile, for as long as the surrounding company resists the urge to punch us. So why is it that I have no opinion on the subject of Felipe Massa?

The world of motoring is a thing I study in sub-atomic detail, likewise Formula One. I haven’t missed a race in lord know how many years, and from watching the sport for so long have formed opinions on every aspect of this often frustrating circus– from the absurd noise of the AMG pace car to what shade of leather gusset I reckon best suits Max. But I am completely ambivalent on the subject of one Felipe Massa.

This is truly Kafka-bonkers. We’re talking about the bloke who could very well be the next Ferrari World Champion. Just uttering his name should make my pants jangle with wistful memories of Hill, Scheckter, Schumacher –it should embody everything that’s passionate in motorsport. But for whatever reason, Felipe has never even been on my radar. Do you feel the same?

I say this because on the Formula One group over in our community, a few people are dissing young Lewis with one chap expressing himself to be a huge Felipe fan. I don’t feel especially protective of Lewis (in fact he seems more than capable of looking after himself) but I couldn’t ever be an adoring Felipe fan -even if I do find his driving on better days to be terribly impressive- because the emotions he evokes in me are no stronger than those I feel in the presence of a sliced, white loaf.

Now I’m not attempting to dismiss Felipe’s obvious talent. Where he’s quick –Turkey, in particular- the others might just as well not bother turning-up. But after his displays of crushing supremacy, of which there have been many and will doubtless be many more, he never urges my core-car-nut-DNA to have his name tattooed on one of my buttocks. There should be a musk, a pungency about these warriors that makes lesser men bow to their superior testosterone content. Kimi produces such a surplus, you wonder if he might just lend his little Brazilian friend a few gallons of the stuff. In return, Felipe might allow Kimi a gander at the ‘how to drive a Ferrari F1 car’ crib sheet that Schumacher gave him at the back-end of 2006.

So, tell me why it is I can’t engage with Felipe on the standard man-worship terms? At the end of 2008, he might well be appearing in the broadsheet sporting-year-summaries alongside such specimens as Usain Bolt and Valentino Rossi, as the blokes who dominated world sport. And, for the second time in two years, I will be left cold by his presence.

The first was at Nice airport, January 2007. I was waiting for a connecting flight and a chap smaller than me, which is saying something, came and sat a couple of seats away. His shades did cover most of his face, but it was only when I stood up twenty minutes later that I twigged it was Massa. This is unnatural. I should have been transfixed by his aura, should have endured a twenty-minute ordeal resisting the urge to present him with a small blade and have him scratch his name into some fleshy part of my body. But instead I fleetingly wondered if the little dude in the blue shirt realised his specs were a touch outsized. And did the crossword.

http://www.drivers-republic.com/[/quote]